A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam.

For a brief moment it's glory and beauty belong to our world.

But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky just to have seen it.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Nalah, her Toys, and Living in the Moment.

Like any little 'girlie', Nalah loved her toys. We introduced Nalah to her homemade rag dolls ("Dolla") when she was one year old. We had two identical ones from the Old Strathcona Farmer's Market in Edmonton. The same artisan made most of Nalah's "go bags", so this was special to us. They were machine washable, which is important for munchkins with difficult airways and immune systems like our Nalah. Karis was the only other child to handle her toys. Nalah was fond of her dolly. You can just see the sparkle in her eye. Sophie the giraffe (we had four of those) was also a favourite. On this particular date we did a photo-shoot at home with Sophie and Dolla. Some of my sweetest memories are of Nalah turning to give her dolly a hug. A significant feat for a girl we were told ".... would not interact meaningfully with her environment". As another trisomy Mom aptly says on her blog, a photo tells a thousand words. This photo tells me Nalah knows, likes, and interacts with her dolly. Watching Nalah grow was such a blessing. As an aside, this photo also reminds me of how Nalah taught me to live in the moment. When younger, early adulthood, I always struggled to stay in the present. I would concern myself with the past, or worry about the future. Being with Nalah taught me to value the here and now. To see the moments for their intrinsic value. Now that our moments together are past, I value the moments I have to reflect and simply connect with Nalah on a more spiritual level. I cannot express in words what my dear girl has taught me. She certainly changed my life. I walk with a grief I will always carry, but also a contentment that comes from knowing what is truly important, and an ability to shut out all the distractions that keep us from fully living our live. Well, it is interesting where reflecting on a photograph can take me. Every memory of Nalah leads to a life lesson of some sort. Her life was simply that profound. Yes, I admit, proud Momma talking here. I will always be proud of my girl and her legacy in the hearts and minds of those that know and love her.

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