Showered With Love

Sisterly Love. A strong bond which transcends Heaven and Earth. My girls.

Nalah & Karis

One of my greatest joys in life was watching my two girls play together. Love grew so strongly between them. To this day, Karis often opens the window and yells "I love you Nalah" to the heavens. Nalah is in our hearts, and minds, always. This photo speaks volumes about how triosmy siblings know and love their family. Karis often choose to sit with Nalah and play with her, rather than doing something more 'active' which Karis would be capable of. We had many ballet recitals, music concerts, art shows, all presented by Karis for Nalah. I stumbled across this photo today and Nalah's love for her big sister always makes me smile. I am sad these two cannot be together, for now. Just the other day Karis, aged five, asked to be buried beside her sister. We all want to be close, as close as we can be. Nalah, save a place for us. We will all join you someday. 

Cuddles

My favourite thing in the world, cuddling both my girls.

Talking to Karis

As soon as Nalah learned to roll, she was 'rolling over' to her big sister, and chatting away. If Karis was sleeping Nalah would roll over and try to bop her on the head, or kick her, to get her attention. We thought that this involved wonderful motor skills, and given that Karis is such a sound sleeper, we let Nalah exercise her new abilities whenever she liked. I am particularly fond of this photo, as this was one of the first times that Nalah was able to roll over to her sister without assistance. The two were so sweet together. I am grateful for all these memories. Our life is so much better because of our little girls. 

Karis' Bad Dream & Nalah's Favorite Song

Oh Nalah, your Big Sister misses you so much. I think she has so many conflicting emotions right now, as she grows into her grief. Karis woke early this morning from a bad dream. Karis says she was playing with you, outside in the pouring rain. You were both listening to Katy Perry on my iPhone. Notably, the bad part of the dream, according to Karis, was not that you were both outside in the rain (apparently without adult supervision). The 'bad part' was losing photos of you together and the music video of Katy Perry! Karis has a bit of a thing for Katy Perry and Hannah Montana. She pretends they come to visit us at our house. Not the best choice of role models, or friends, but then she is  lonely so I allow her this indulgence. I know how you loved your sisters iPod. You would wiggle yourself over to wherever she was playing with it, and practically sit on top of it. You could not get close enough. I can just see you two huddling together watching music videos.

We all know, though, that your favourite artist is SEAL. If it were up to you, he would have had his comeback.

Nalah's all time favourite song is "It's Alright", a cover by Seal on his SOUL album. Nalah always had a blissful/ contented look on her face when she listened to this song. This was the only pop/adult album I downloaded for Nalah. She had a huge music collection of children's music. However, she responded most strongly to Seal. We will get you the new album  Nalah. I promise. 

Nalah's Ancestry

Nalah has ancestral roots in various parts of the world. Nalah was born and lived in Western Canada. However, her father's family came to Canada from Jamaica in the 1960s.  There are two families there, the Smiths and the Irvins', near Mandeville.   Nalah's maternal roots are in the Mennonite communities of Russia (her maternal great-grandparents fled after the Russian Revolution) and Prussia (now Poland). There are many strong people in her lineage, particularly her grandparents and great-grandparents. One small comfort now, is knowing that Nalah is in the company of these wise and loving souls. 


As an aside, Karis tells me that Nalah now travels the world. Karis says Nalah travels for a couple of days, they comes to visit her (dreams, or in her spirit form). Karis will say things about the world that puzzle me, such as describing the Eiffel Tower in Paris in detail, or mentioning "the ocean in England is brown". When questioned, Karis says "Nalah told me so". I am glad my girls have a connection in their imagination, dreams, and/or spiritually. I do not discourage it and let Karis express her bond to Nalah any way that she should wish. 


If you are travelling Nalah, I would suggest Jamaica. I am sure the sights, sounds, colours and music would intrigue you my girl. You always loved music, and had the cutest "happy dance". Somehow I felt inspired to mention your Jamaican ancestry today. You have strong roots my girl. Very strong. 


To be honest, if bothers me not knowing exactly where you are, but I am sure all these puzzles will one day be solved when we join you "where you are". 

My girls enjoying mealtime together...

Nalah was always entertaining at the dinner table. Before she obtained her custom high chair, Mommy would hold her through every meal. Nalah would follow my fork with her eyes, rolling her head back and forth depending on where I would reach. I do believe she loved food, although all she could 'eat' was Neocate (a pre-digested formula). Nalah always joined in the conversation somehow. When she was older Nalah would swing her whole upper body toward whoever she wanted to be with for a cuddle. At first I was puzzled, since she was sitting so well. Why was she falling over? We learned by asking her questions that she was using her upper body to 'point' to the answer. She was smart, but not in any conventional ways. This photograph always makes me smile. Karis is three here, and was well past using her high chair. Karis insisted to use her high chair this mealtime to be just like Nalah, and sit side by side. The two had such fun being home together. I miss Nalah banging on her GRIP chair when she was excited about something and playing footsie with everyone under the table. Nalah enjoyed mealtime. She was very sociable and we enjoyed mealtimes with her. I would give anything to have my whole family around a dinner table again. As Karis says, those were the 'good old days'.

The medical community will tell you trisomy siblings suffer. A picture tells a thousand words.  I cherish the memories I have of my girls. Ordinary daily things took on a whole new significance when we could do them together. 

Bedtime Hugs...

Sweet dreams Princess. I treasure all those bedtimes where we could cuddle, read stories, tickle, giggle, share some love. This is one of my favourite photos of my girls. Nalah was catching up with Karis in size, and wearing recent hand me downs. Peas in a pod. The two embraced often. I think they were both happiest in each others arms. The little legs were usually intertwined, like here, and Nalah was often playing footsie. They were drawn to each other. I am so grateful we got to know each other, and that my girls are so close. 

Love does not count Chromosones

This is a bit of a ramble. Came here to upload a photo, and ended up blogging about the value of human life. Started with memories of teething, and it always seems to lead to larger issues.   Here is the ramble :

Nalah loved her little Sophie teething toy. Nalah teethed from six months of age till two years. A good chew toy was essential. We had about four Sophies at any given time, keeping them sterile as possible for her immune system. This photo brings back such good memories of cuddles. I love how Nalah snuggled with her Momma, always touching me gently and resting close to my heart. This little dress is one of the many she had matching her sister. Just this morning Karis asked to wear one of the dresses that remind her of Nalah. Having family time together was such a blessing for us. Nalah is a sweet sweet child and it makes me incredibly sad that society, in general, considers lives of those who are genetically different to be less worthy of living. I wish we lived in a world where difference was accepted and people were valued for who they are, regardless of labels. As any parent knows,  loving a child is an incredibly rewarding experience. And as a dear trisomy mommy friend (Katie Weaver) so aptly says "Love does not count Chromosomes".

As an aside, there are wonderful trisomy awareness logos on various items for sale at cafepress.ca or cafepress.com. A 30% off sale is on this weekend. My family is wearing trisomy awareness t-shirts lately. A way to bring awareness to a condition that is often mis-represented and misunderstood. 

Easter at the Stollery, May 2009

Nalah in the pretty dress her Daddy bought her for Easter, when Nalah was about 8 months old. This was Nalah's first little dress and we adored putting it on her. I gave Nalah the fuzzy blankie which we thought was like spring grass at the park. Nalah could have sensory play on the blankie, while confined to her hospital bed.  We hid Easter baskets under Nalah's crib that year. Karis was particularly into 'ducks' that spring. I put the cutest little stuffed duck I could find in Karis' Easter basket. The first thing Karis did when she found her basket, was grab that duck, climb onto Nalah's crib and say she wanted to give this gift to her  baby sister. One of many acts of kindness I witnessed between them. Nalah was so tiny in these photos, she reached eleven pounds at one year. Tiny and sweet. Our Princess. 

Sisters & Best Friends

Nalah and Karis at home in Edmonton, Fall 2009. 

Trisomy Siblings at play...

Karis and Nalah always found a way to play together, despite Nalah's different abilities. Nalah like many trisomy kids was not able to walk, crawl. Some do have better mobility, but Nalah was a paraplegic. Needless to say, there are ways to be active without actually walking. Nalah had the sweetest happy dance. She would kick her feet happily, or swing them both side to side quickly if she was excited. Nalah was very capable with her toes, and constantly removing things, opening things, playing with things with her feet. Karis was brilliant at adapting her play to include Nalah. I will always be proud of Karis for how she entertained and included her little sister. I once asked Karis if anything about Nalah ever made her sad, as Karis often had to sit by as we attended to a medical need or routine. Karis replied "the only time Nalah made me sad is when she died, Mommy". On this date, Karis was attending to her babies, including Nalah and a little dollie. Nalah, for her part, had endless patience for all of Karis' ideas and activities. Nalah's face lit up when Karis entered the room. The two were best of buds. Still are, although now Karis must carry on with a sister in Heaven. My most precious memories are of my girls together. They played beautifully. Nalah has enriched Karis' life and I can see her legacy in her big sister. Karis is so nurturing and compassionate with others, those who are smaller, and those more vulnerable. We are all better people because of our trisomy child. And about the hair, I do admit that we spent more time on other things, and less on Karis' hair while the four of us lived together on Home Care in Edmonton. Karis now has a lovely short hairdo and we attend to it every day. I miss those messy hair days when we just stayed at home and played.

Two peas in a pod...Karis & Nalah

Two peas in a pod. My girls enjoyed being together. To this day, sibling conflict really bothers Karis. She is upset if her friends argue or fight with their little brothers or sisters. Karis and Nalah just seemed like the kind of sisters that would be best of friends. They learned to communicate with each other, and play together, despite their different abilities.  The world may have viewed them as opposite sides of the spectrum, but to me, their Mom, they had so very much in common. The joy they found in each other is something I will always treasure.

Sisterly Love. Karis was always very protective and nurturing towards Nalah. Karis continues to show these traits with younger children. Karis gravitates to the smaller ones and is very gentle and compassionate with them. She learned this by having a special needs sister. A little sister who taught us so much.