tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72943856419963703452024-02-18T22:16:29.829-08:00NALAH MARI FRIESEN SMITH - A TRISOMY 18 JOURNEYA tribute to our brave and precious little girl Nalah, who lived valiantly with Full Trisomy 18. Nalah is an inspiration, a blessing, and our greatest love.Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-73702917903322359832018-09-17T10:34:00.002-07:002018-09-17T10:34:30.988-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We still hold you close, my child. <div>
Your big sister is eleven years old now, and has started grade six. </div>
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I was touched to see that on her "About Me" project for school she described herself as, among other things, a Sister. </div>
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So many think of Karis as an only child, but she is truly a surviving/ living child. A sibling.</div>
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Although she was little when you were here, she still remembers you and holds space in her heart for you.</div>
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We all do.</div>
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-42116413005800981462018-09-17T10:29:00.001-07:002018-09-17T10:29:15.240-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I love this photo of my daughter Nalah. Doctors advised, prior to birth, that Nalah would likely not interact with her family. Well, she interacted ALL the time. She communicated volumes without saying a spoken word. Body language, hundreds of facial expressions, and the sweetest noises that could be made. Sounded like singing to me. On this day, I was fiddling with my iPhone, something I regret doing so much in her presence, and Nalah turned to me and put on a big smile for the camera. This smile is exactly like my smile on my first day of grade one photo. She looks exactly like me in this picture, my child. I treasure the smile, and I treasure the connection. <div>
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Love you baby girl.</div>
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-21382094106765827602018-09-17T10:18:00.000-07:002018-09-17T10:19:32.961-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>Remembering my Love on her Tenth Birthday</b><br />
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<b>I have candles burning, and lights dimmed. I am spending a morning remembering the most precious little girl. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to be your Mom, Nalah. You and your sister are my greatest loves, and greatest teachers. </b><br />
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<b>I miss you my girl. I have searched through old photos this morning and cherish all the memories we captured, and those which are more fleeting. Some things are ingrained in my mind. I remember your smile. I remember you closing your eyes, tilting your head back, when you were experiencing bliss. I remember the other times too, the times you struggled, the times we tried to manage your pain. I always saw you as much bigger than that. So much more than your medically complex physical being. An old soul. A companion. My beloved.</b><br />
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<b>I have many new plants in your honour today, and the trees I have planted for you are growing big and strong. I have harvested herbs today and strung them throughout the house. The fragrance is lovely. You always appreciated a sensory garden.</b><br />
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<b>I found a scrapbook of art today that your sister created for you while you were in hospital. She was two, but such a colourful artist. You always loved the bright colours adorning your walls.</b><br />
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<b>We honour you today Nalah. We will have the traditional party. Pizza, a vanilla cake, and chocolate cupcakes with strawberry buttercream. Your signature. We will light birthday candles and sing to you. My sister will release balloons at your birth time, 5:18 pm. </b><br />
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<b>I am quite pleased that the Emmy's fall on your 10th Birthday evening. You know I have loved hollywood red carpets since I was a tiny girl. I /we are SO cheering on a fellow Canadian, Sandra Oh. </b><br />
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<b>I don't know where you are in the spirit world, this universe or the next. I know you are free to travel and explore wherever your spirit leads you. I don't want to hold you down. I don't want to hold you back. </b><br />
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<b>We will hold you close in our hearts as we always do, but please know our love reaches you wherever you are. Our love is bigger than this world, and bigger than a physical life. </b><br />
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<b>You are my precious baby girl, growing up in the spirit world.</b><br />
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<b>I love you and I honour you.</b><br />
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<b>Thank you for the precious gift of sharing some time on this earth.</b><br />
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<b>Love, </b><br />
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<b>Momma</b></div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-6319288360457730792016-01-19T12:00:00.001-08:002016-01-19T12:00:26.412-08:00Family of four...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The four of us together. Shortly before Nalah was born.<br />
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Family of four, embodied in three. That is how I see us. Always.</div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-68673947713986202152016-01-19T11:56:00.000-08:002016-01-19T11:56:30.558-08:00Five Years On...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been five years since that horrible fateful day. I am five years into my grief, and as others have said, ready to take some responsibility for it.<br />
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That said, I will never stop being your mother. You are part of me, and I am part of you. I remember you, I cherish you, I imagine you, with each breath I take.<br />
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It is different, trying to 'carry on' (i.e. carrying you in my heart) from day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year. Time slows, quickens, live goes on regardless of what I feel, thing, long for, remember.<br />
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I hear that many trisomy babies and children have passed recently. Eight families, at least, now facing that immense challenge of their child no longer physically present. My heart goes out to them.<br />
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I do not think I could ever face this grief journey again. I do not know how parents who have lost multiple children continue to live, breath, function.<br />
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For me, I will hold you, cherish you, remember you. I know you are always going to be a part of me. An integral part.<br />
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I miss you my dear daughter.<br />
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You have taught me so much about love. I treasure your lessons to. I love you right back, bigger than the world can see, bigger than we could ever imagine.<br />
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My heart Nalah, I offer you my heart.<br />
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Love, Momma</div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-56368107381201907972016-01-10T14:09:00.001-08:002016-01-10T14:09:34.373-08:00It's been too long<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been far too long since I visited this page. Visit, such a strange word, for an outpouring of one's heart about one's own child. I found it too painful for a long while, to even be near here.<br />
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I used to feel Nalah's absence with each breath I took. Now, I feel her presence.<br />
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Still, there is no heartbreak like the physical separation from a well loved child.<br />
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That said, I am grateful. I know that is a cliche word these days. But, with Nalah, I actually feel it. I am grateful for my little teacher (Nalah). I am grateful for each moment we were together. I am grateful that we could know each other, to the extent we did/do. I am grateful for the opportunity to love her unconditionally, and to learn to love myself ( a little more) in the process.<br />
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My life changed forever when I lost her. In some ways, that is when life started. Nalah opened my mind, opened my heart, and I will never be the same.<br />
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Thank you Nalah, for changing my world irrevocably.<br />
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Momma</div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-46182297154298131462014-06-27T08:36:00.001-07:002014-06-27T08:36:02.775-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en">
Join my 'skip a latter honour a child' campaign..... please give to Memorial Gravestone for Nalah Mari <a href="http://t.co/PHCWps7Ylm">http://t.co/PHCWps7Ylm</a> via <a href="https://twitter.com/gofundme">@gofundme</a><br />
— Marianne Friesen (@loveyourkids2) <a href="https://twitter.com/loveyourkids2/statuses/482547484703477760">June 27, 2014</a></blockquote>
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-62285317662809340532014-06-21T18:30:00.001-07:002014-06-21T18:30:01.889-07:00NALAH MARI FRIESEN SMITH - A TRISOMY 18 JOURNEY: How I remember Nalah, always attentive to her fami...<a href="http://nalahsmith.blogspot.com/2014/06/how-i-remember-nalah-always-attentive.html?spref=bl">NALAH MARI FRIESEN SMITH - A TRISOMY 18 JOURNEY: How I remember Nalah, always attentive to her fami...</a>: How I remember Nalah, always attentive to her family, always a shining light, always making the best of any situation. This smile melts ...Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-28722483383849530432014-06-17T13:56:00.000-07:002014-06-17T13:56:18.040-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>How I remember Nalah, always attentive to her family, always a shining light, always making the best of any situation. This smile melts my heart.</b></span><br /></div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-17937328284064147282014-06-17T08:35:00.003-07:002014-06-17T08:41:05.409-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A trisomy friend, Abigail's Mom Amber Almeida, posted this quote today and I find it very fitting for our experience of parenting a trisomy child. I see this as a positive. All that is non-essential washes away, only what has true value remains. Priorities are shifted as life is tumbled upside down. You are left creating a life that has meaning, true meaning. You are left facing, and learning to love, your true self. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we truly are" </span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Arthur Golden</span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For any trisomy parents, especially those carrying a child yet to be born, I want to say please have courage. Enjoy every precious moment you have together. Know that the experience will change you in positive ways, even though it feels as though you are being ripped apart in the arms of a storm. What remains will be worthwhile. Your experience with your child is a true gift. Nothing can take away the love you share, not death, not anything. A loving family is something worth the adversity. I pray you will have strength and hope. </span></div>
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-70657649503619395542014-06-17T08:26:00.004-07:002014-06-17T08:26:46.597-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3;">Nalah, for your 'Birthday'</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-size: large;">"Nothing can dim the light </span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3; font-size: large;">that shines from within"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #8e7cc3;">Maya Angelou</span></div>
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-51437868041498042412014-06-17T08:22:00.002-07:002014-06-17T08:22:20.681-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-71433398014047680672014-06-17T08:19:00.003-07:002014-06-17T08:19:46.663-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Yes, I do. Always will. With love.</div>
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-13060079181094089232014-06-17T08:15:00.001-07:002014-06-17T08:15:19.426-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Nalah's name written in the Seashore of Remembrance (Christians' Beach, Perth, Australia) by CarlyMarie Dudley, an exceptionally talented artist who creates 'heArtwork' for bereaved families. Nalah's name means 'beloved'. We choose her name to reflect our devotion to her. I will always love the sound of her name.</span></div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-6861430450092347112014-06-17T08:08:00.001-07:002014-06-17T08:08:36.675-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been over two years since I have written here. My heart has been too sad. Full of love, but sad. Sad because my daughter was denied essential life-saving treatment the day she died. Slow code. Fake resuscitation. Horror for a parent. Fatal for a child. Nalah suffered discrimination because of her genetic condition. Doctors made value judgments about her quality of life. Those that knew Nalah knew that she was pure light, a gentle soul, full of mischief, curiosity, patience, love, and intensely bonded with her family. Nalah was simply an exceptional child. I have no regrets for choosing life for Nalah, for advocating for a 'chance at life' for her in this harsh medical system she was born into. My only regret is the discrimination she faced from others, and the hardships that brought.<br />
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I remember Nalah every day. My life is enriched by her memory. Our family is a 'family of four, embodied in three'. Nalah will always be our baby girl, our little munchkin, our favourite star in the sky. I trust Heaven is being far more kind to Nalah than this earth every could. That is my only comfort. That and knowing that Nalah is surrounded by loved ones and other special trisomy children in her new home. Children with exceptional parents who were loved unconditionally both before, during, after birth. Regardless of outcome.<br />
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I wish I had more fight in me to battle the discrimination children like Nalah face. It has been over three years since Nalah said goodbye. She was a wise child, an old soul. I read recently that souls choose their lifetimes, and the roles they will play in their 'soul group'. Nalah choose a very tough role. She taught a role that would enrich others, while negatively impacting herself. Nalah choose to teach us about love, unconditional love, and to find a strength that we did not know we had. Having Nalah changed my life and I would not want to go back to how things were before her.<br />
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Nalah, this would be your birthday. We celebrated every "17th' of every month, as it meant another month with you. Today, we are having the usual party. Pizza, cupcakes, and a special place to you at the table. You got so bored with birthdays, I remember you rolling your eyes after the 20th party. Well, we still will celebrate you and we will never forget.<br />
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We love you Nalah. Always will. </div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-20846376540156834592012-10-04T18:50:00.004-07:002012-10-04T18:51:33.326-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sisters playing.....This photo is taken in Edmonton in the fall of 2009, before Nalah had her tummy surgery and received her G-tube/Nissen. Nalah grew by leaps and bounds after her tummy surgery...she is quite small here, but large in personality and spirit. Karis is trying to be in charge of Nalah's medical needs (which was not allowed, but we let her copy along with her dolly). Here, Karis is preparing to give dolly sterile water. We gave Nalah clear fluids through her tube to keep her hydrated, and boiled her water every day. I miss those days. That routine. Those responsibilities. Caring for Nalah was something I truly enjoyed. My greatest joy, however, was seeing my girls together. Playing, interacting, bonding, loving each other. I will always treasure moments like these. </span></div>
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-58533565972805635652012-10-04T18:44:00.004-07:002012-10-04T18:44:18.981-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of my favourite photos of my girl. Nalah was simply sweet. Always sweet. A joy to spend my days with. I loved holding her right here, on my left side, close to my heart. Nalah always preferred being held by my heart too. Nalah would fuss if we tried to do things differently, and hold her on my left. Nalah liked being close to my heartbeat. She still is.</span><br />
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-55067964090344436002012-09-16T00:05:00.001-07:002012-09-16T00:05:50.357-07:00Always....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-50329442027333964702012-09-16T00:01:00.003-07:002012-09-16T00:03:20.228-07:00Sunset Butterfly for Nalah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A lovely image created by CarlyMarie Dudley of Project Heal, Perth, Austrailia. </span></div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-20815999344076764552012-09-15T10:06:00.002-07:002012-09-15T10:06:28.658-07:00Nalah is almost Four!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nalah, we are busy preparing for your birthday. Both for the party, and emotionally. I miss you every second. I wish I could watch you grow up. I want to hold you. I wish we could be together on this special day. Four seems so old, and young, at the same time. I remember when Karis turned four, it was almost one month after the day you passed. The birthday was hard, terrible, with major meltdowns from all of us. We always associated birthday parties with you. We had a party for you every week when you were little, then every month as you grew older. Our last birthday together was 26 months, November 17, 2010. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am so grateful for your birthday. We experienced such a miracle with your birth. You made our family complete, you still do. I want to do all sorts of things you would enjoy on your birthday. We have designated Karis the party-planner and she has some great ideas. Karis is busy decorating all sorts of balloons with messages for you. We will meet at your resting place to sing Happy Birthday. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My heart was torn to bits the other day when I was in the grocery line. A woman in front of me was buying birthday party supplies. So was I, but for a very different kind of party. One where you will celebrate with all your Angel friends, and hopefully visit us for a while. But one where we celebrate, and long for you, all at the same time.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will always treasure every moment we had. It just seems that time with a loved one is never long enough.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are an incredible little girl Nalah. I wish I could watch you grow. You were so mature and wise for your years, even as a toddler. I know you have grown into even a lovelier little girl in the spirit world, where you play now. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love you Nalah,</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mommy</span></div>
Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-58253435286918366672012-06-19T14:53:00.005-07:002012-06-19T14:53:49.768-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7;">Bedtime together, legs always intertwined. Fall 2010.</span></div>
</div>Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-29669742248616818142012-06-19T14:34:00.001-07:002012-06-19T14:34:18.452-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Teething, but still a glimmer of a smile...</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Nalah teethed for about 18 months of her 26 month life. The first tooth was the hardest. It took four weeks to emerge, and then disappeared again the next day. A month of work, for what! Nalah was tube fed, so the teeth always seemed an unnecessary source of discomfort, however, Nalah took it all in stride. She cut about 10 teeth in the months before turning two. Nalah teethed continually from about six months to her last days. This photo reminds me of her quiet strength. She rarely, if ever cried. Nalah was more likely to cry if something did not go her way. For instance, the one night we tried to put the girls to bed at different bedtimes....Nalah did NOT appreciate being put to bed before her big sister. If Nalah ever cried, we generally asked Karis to enter the room and then she would stop. If Nalah did not stop crying when Karis was beside her, then we would consider whether Motrin was necessary....since she hardly ever, every cried, and if she did there might be some pain. I can see that Nalah is under the weather in this photo, I can see the tiredness in her eyes. However, I also see her strength. She was a tenacious little soul. Defying the odds, defying death, for far longer than her medical team expected. My little warrior. Nalah taught us about taking life in stride, and remaining calm, despite any storm.</span></div>Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-26797008753728563272012-06-19T14:14:00.001-07:002012-06-19T14:15:36.166-07:00Nalah and her Daddy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #674ea7; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In honour of Father's Day, an early photo of Nalah and her Dad. Nalah is very young here, likely less than six months. Always alert, she was very focussed on family members. She knew us, and how to communicate with each of us. Her Daddy would ask her to do certain things, facial expressions, and she would copy. Daddy was wrapped around her finger. I always enjoyed seeing the love/compassion when they gazed at each other. A favourite memory.</span></div>Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-38631695764069724072012-06-19T13:39:00.002-07:002012-06-19T13:39:26.691-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Life Beyond:<br />
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It has been a long while since I sat to write here, Nalah's space. The loneliness for my girl is so profound. Life carries on and seems to carry me along with it, broken yet strong. There are so many enduring life lessons that Nalah has taught me. What is important. What is not. How to truly care, how to truly love. Also, to be loved. Nalah taught me to receive love despite my own imperfections. Being a trisomy parent is a challenge. There is at the constant triage, the medical decisions often without medical training, and too often without a supportive, fair, compassionate medical team. There are sleepless nights, months of them. If lucky, years of them. It is marathon parenting. Now, that I am on the other side all I see is gratefulness, loneliness and love. I am sure other words could be offered and they are not in any particular order. The largest legacy, in life beyond our time together, is love. Love for one's children, one's family, friends, and also, love for oneself. That has been the hardest lesson. Nalah encourages me every day, despite the physical distance. There are always messages of love flowing between us. Today for no apparent reason as I was running my bath, one spot would not take any water, and created a little crater shaped exactly like a heart. The water just kept running around it. No explanation, but that sort of thing continues to happen. Little messages, little signs, and lots of love.<br />
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Life beyond is lonely. However, Life beyond is much fuller than it ever could have been before. Nalah opened my eyes to what truly counts in this world, our inner (spiritual) world and how to truly give and receive love (from self and others).<br />
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Still, I miss those days. The together days. It has been 18 months now. Too long to be apart from a precious child. It is hard to even recount the stories, I spend most of my day treading water emotionally, trying to hold back tears while I go about my daily tasks, work, parenting, responsibility for a household, and all the rest.<br />
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Agape. Eternal love. This is what we are left with now. Does it make sense to be sad and grateful all at once? Does grieving ever make sense?<br />
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Nalah, I am watching Karis play with her little girlfriend here in the house today. It breaks my heart that you can no longer play together. Today I filled out a school application for Kindergarten. Of course, the question "Any preschool siblings?" I answered with your full name and your dates: September 17, 2008 to December 9, 2010. There is NO POSSIBLE way I will ever exclude you from anything we do. Yes, Karis has a sibling. Her residence is Heaven. She is the little sister. Our little sweetheart, always.<br />
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I miss you munchkin.</div>Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7294385641996370345.post-69791416614253758862012-04-04T02:05:00.001-07:002012-04-04T02:05:56.699-07:00One Extra Chromosome - A Powerful Video created by Katie Weaver, in Honour of Maisie Grace<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LKs3EDNVWTc?fs=1" width="480"></iframe>Nalah Mari Friesen Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05261873682108663327noreply@blogger.com0