Nalah's Smile

I was taking photos of Nalah one morning, and as Nalah heard the familiar sounds of the camera on my iPhone, she looked at me and broke out in this grin. I believe she was posing for the next photo. This smile melted my heart that morning, and still does. My lovely girl. Nalah gave and received so much love. Moments like this were breathtaking, especially after being told (by medical community) that she would not engage in a meaningful way with her world. Well, this is how she engaged with us. Love you my girl. For the record, Nalah smiled her first week. It brought me hope, to know she could express happiness, when she fell into heart failure at eight days of age. It helped me have hope there was a quality of life to be saved. Nalah is about 22 months old in this photograph. This photo also has an uncanny resemblance to my childhood photos. I am grateful to have experienced this moment with her. 

I Miss You

Nalah, you blessed us in countless ways. 
As Karis says "Don't you wish you could go back to the good old days Mommy? The days when Nalah was here with us?"
I do miss those days. 
You brought such joy and taught us to love so deeply.
No one will ever replace you.
There will never be another You.
Your personality always shone bright through whatever life threw your way.
Nalah Mari....
Beloved, wished for child.


Mommy misses You.

Smiling at her Daddy

Nalah's face would light up when a family member entered the room. In this photo she is being held by Mommy and smiling at her Daddy. Nalah's smile always makes me smile, even now when I miss her so. Nalah simply was/and IS an adorable daughter. I am disappointed that society in general does not understand or appreciate the value of our 'special kids'. Nalah is an integral, beloved, member of our family. She always will be.

My Princess

Mommy's Favorite Photograph

You are beyond sweet, Nalah. Simply adorable my girl.

Nalah talking to her Momma....

This video is special to me, as the morning we recorded I had just lost 2000 or more videos/photographs when my iPhone got wet. I had begged my husband to upload them, as I was not 'technologically literate' at the time (still learning). He did not get it done.  I was so sad to lose these images. I had a little playtime with Nalah and she was particularly vocal with me that morning. This is not really shown in the video, but what I see is her determination to let me record. Somehow, she sensed how important it was for me I think. She drew me in to her world, and away from my sadness and disappointment. We lost our records of the three months where she was learning at such a rapid pace (for her) and while she was the healthiest ever (in respiratory terms). The photos and videos I began collecting after that loss will always be special to me. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of documenting our children's lives. Each moment we have recorded is absolutely priceless. I love to hear her voice now. We used to play a little game. I would hide my iPhone and set it on record. Nalah always knew, somehow, when it was turned out. She would stop chattering right away. It was a difficult challenge to record her communication, but there were rare times that she cooperated and let us record without going to great lengths. Nalah was always aware of her surroundings. Always engaged. She was far from the girl the medical community led us to believe she would be. We were told she would not interact in a meaningful way. Rather, she communicated constantly and we adored speaking to her in any way we could. There are many ways to speak that are non verbal. Love you Nalah.

Nalah at play, at home. Nalah loved her Lamaze toys, anything bright, colourful, and noisy. It was an absolute pleasure to have Nalah with us. I miss these days of playing, learning, loving.

Nalah's gorgeous smile. Right before this photo, I was sitting by Nalah uploading photos on my iPhone. Nalah recognized the sounds of the camera, and gave me this gorgeous smile. Nalah posed for me. A conscious act, from a child who I was told (wrongfully) would not interact in a meaningful way. Nalah interacted constantly. We spoke with everything but words.

One of my favourite memories. Taking Nalah to Hawreluk Park in Edmonton on my Birthday, August 2010. Nalah loved the sights, sounds, sun and wind. It was a glorious summer day and Nalah and I experienced what many take for granted. An afternoon in the Park. I, we, loved it. Nalah spent a fair bit of time talking to the sky that day. Not the only time I felt she was speaking to Angels.

One of our funnier moments. I purchased this spring outfit in May 2010. Nalah's nurse and I tried on the outfit, just for fun, to take some photos. Nalah HATED the hat. Could not get over this strange object on her head. Especially with ladybugs! We were chuckling so hard we forgot, momentarily, to hook up her feeding tube for a few moments. Nalah let us know her preferences, that is for sure. And this hat was not one of them.