Showered With Love

Sisterly Love. A strong bond which transcends Heaven and Earth. My girls.

The Presence of Love - Coleridge

And in Life's noisiest hour,
There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,
The heart's Self-solace and soliloquy.

You mould my Hopes, you fashion me within;
And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart
Thro' all my Being, thro' my pulse's beat;
You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,
Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve
On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.

And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.


 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

My Valentine

 Nalah, you have taught me how to truly love and be loved. I did not understand unconditional love until my journey with you.  You taught me that I was capable of such love, and receiving the same.You gave so much to your family, more than we could ever give you. I will always be grateful. Each year I will proudly say that you, Nalah (with your sister of course) are My Valentine.

I love you more than I could ever express. My love for you is bigger than the universe, and I hope you can feel my love around you today, especially.

In this photo you are the spitting image of my first grade photo, my first day of school. I think it is quite sweet that we have a photo which shows the resemblance between us. I was fiddling with photos on my iPhone when you gave me this smile. I know you were posing. You never were shy for the camera, and I am glad we have 15,000 photos of you.  I am off to see Opa this morning. I know you are a special Valentine for him too. We all love and miss you today my girl. XXXXXXXXX

Opa (Grandpa)

Nalah I had a little talk with Opa today about you. He hurts so much since you have been gone. Opa is concerned he is a burden to us now that his heart is so very weak. I told him about how I considered you a blessing each and every moment, regardless of your situation medically. I explained to him that he was a blessing each day he is with us, regardless of his situation now. It helped him to hear this I think. He is so concerned about creating a hardship for his family. Opa had tears in his eyes when I explained to him, again, what you mean to me and that I will always consider you central to my life whether you are here in person or in spirit, that we still speak, and that I have absolutely no regrets about any hardship we went through since our love for you is bigger than anything. It seemed to bring comfort to Dad to know that both you, and him, are blessings no matter what our days may bring. I know Opa will be so very glad to see you in Heaven. I am just not ready to say goodbye to him just yet. I doubt I ever will be. Nalah, your Opa loves you so very, very much. My only comfort will be knowing you are together someday.  When Opa comes, please give him the biggest, longest, most loving hug imaginable. 

Angelversary Message for Nalah

Sweet Nalah. I miss you so. We love you bigger than this earth, and our love reaches to wherever you are. Please give Cathal Cartmill an extra hug today, as it is his special day too. I miss you more than I can ever express. I love you as much as a Mommy can love, which is very, very, very, very much. Karis and I look forward to seeing you again. So does Daddy. We are all coming to live with you someday. I am sad not to watch you grow up, but please know I will always be your Momma and I will always love you. Fourteen months today dear girl. Our world was shattered when we said goodbye. We love you. Loving you is worth every tear. I will keep my vigil for you tonight. 1:28 am. Our quiet time. Love you.

GoodNight Nalah...

The first story I ever read to Nalah was very carefully chosen. I selected the book while pregnant, with all the uncertainty her birth would bring. I choose a book that I could read whether she was living, or not, and which conveyed my love to her regardless of what transpired at birth. The last pages of this book, entitled 'I Love You As Much" says the following:

" Now sleep child of mine while the stars shine above, I love you as much as a Mommy can love".

Imagine my joy when I was able to read this passage to Nalah in the NICU when she was a day old, alive, breathing on her own, exceeding everyone's expectations (which were dismal, it seemed I was the only person with any hope). We read this story often, and I highly recommend it. Now that Nalah sleeps with the stars, I still say our little bedtime words, ....sleep child of mine while the stars shine above, I love you as much as a Mommy can love. I am grateful every day for the opportunity to be Nalah's Mom. She has enriched my life in ways that I cannot even express. The photo I have attached was on my desktop so perhaps just a convenient choice, however it shows typical Nalah. Relaxed, comfy, with her 'taking on the world' pose. This photo was taken about two years ago, near Nalah's second Valentines Day. Note the "I love you" pillow at the head of the bed. Love you sweetheart.