Talking to the Sky

 Nalah often had these little conversations with the ceiling, or when outside, with the Sky. I was always amused by these conversations, and more often intrigued. I got the impression Nalah could see and sense more than we, as adults, were aware of around us. I do believe children may be more receptive to the spirit world that way. This is one of my many favourite memories. Sitting on our second floor deck with Nalah in the summertime. At home.  The play therapy toys spread out around us. Having time to talk, explore, play and simply be together. 

Nalah, my Teacher.

Nalah, I had another talk with Opa today about you in his ICU room. We talked of how I learned to open my heart and mind to spirituality, because of my journey with you. Opa remarked "Maybe Nalah was sent here to teach all of us". We spoke of how you are such a blessing, and have taught me so many incredible life lessons. I reassured Dad again of how both you, and he, are not burdens to us, as that is one of his big fears. My Dad loves you so much sweetheart. We also talked of feeling you near, and Opa remarked "I think you feel her presence most of all". I suggested to Opa that if he was open to it, he could likely feel you near too. Opa said he does feel you near. I know you are watching over your family and loving us from where you are. I can assure you that our love for you reaches wherever in the Universe you are too (whether it is Heaven, or you are on a field trip of some sort). Karis keeps reporting about parts of the world you have visited, and telling us details about places we have never been. Karis is calling me, she has me 'skipping rope' with her this morning.

Another time, another place. Still Love.

My desire to blog never took root while Nalah was alive. I could not bear to spend any time writing when all I wanted to do was hold her, play with her, care for her, watch Karis entertain her, and simply BE. Be together. So, here I am. Months after Nalah passed. Fatefully.  I try to focus on what was positive, who she truly is. Not what others have done, or not done, regarding her.

Nalah. I miss you more than words can ever express. There is an emptiness with your physical absence. However, there is a gratefulness that I have not experienced before. The most significant experiences and lessons of my life were with you. You created a space and time for the greatest love. A love that we shared (still do) as a family. A love that grows, even though you are not physically here.

I sense your presence spiritually, however for a Momma that just never seems to be enough. I want to hold you. I long to hold you, care for you, have any of our regular everyday moments back. Anything. I want to re-live those years, months, days. Every moment with you was special. Precious. You taught us that live is not be to be taken for granted. Family is an exceptional bond, or can be. Love can be unconditional, and is most rewarding when it is so.

You are my greatest love and my greatest teacher. A small little person with a very large footprint. I miss you.