Always....

Sunset Butterfly for Nalah

A lovely image created by CarlyMarie Dudley of Project Heal, Perth, Austrailia. 

Nalah is almost Four!

Nalah, we are busy preparing for your birthday. Both for the party, and emotionally. I miss you every second. I wish I could watch you grow up. I want to hold you. I wish we could be together on this special day. Four seems so old, and young, at the same time. I remember when Karis turned four, it was almost one month after the day you passed. The birthday was hard, terrible, with major meltdowns from all of us. We always associated birthday parties with you. We had a party for you every week when you were little, then every month as you grew older. Our last birthday together was 26 months, November 17, 2010. 

I am so grateful for your birthday. We experienced such a miracle with your birth. You made our family complete, you still do. I want to do all sorts of things you would enjoy on your birthday. We have designated Karis the party-planner and she has some great ideas. Karis is busy decorating all sorts of balloons with messages for you. We will meet at your resting place to sing Happy Birthday. 

My heart was torn to bits the other day when I was in the grocery line. A woman in front of me was buying birthday party supplies. So was I, but for a very different kind of party. One where you will celebrate with all your Angel friends, and hopefully visit us for a while. But one where we celebrate, and long for you, all at the same time.

I will always treasure every moment we had. It just seems that time with a loved one is never long enough.

You are an incredible little girl Nalah. I wish I could watch you grow. You were so mature and wise for your years, even as a toddler. I know you have grown into even a lovelier little girl in the spirit world, where you play now. 

I love you Nalah,

Mommy